


Without You

by CelestialKitties



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comfort Sex, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, I'm Sorry, Marriage, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Sad, Sex, Smut, Some Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 15:25:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16121342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialKitties/pseuds/CelestialKitties





	Without You

It was that time of year again. The tavern was dimmly lit with clouds of smoke swirling through the air. The harsh scent of tobacco assaulted Erwins senses as he sat down on the cushioned bar stool, creaking as his body weight shifted on it. He waited patiently with his elbows resting on the worn counter as the bar maid approached him. She was dressed in a skimpy low cut top that drew all attention to her chest and a pleated mini skirt that showed off a large portion of her toned thighs. He paid no attention to these assets as she leaned onto the counter in front of him, pushing her breasts out with her arms.   
  
"What can I get you, sweetheart?" She cooed.   
  
"Whiskey. Top shelf, please. " He avoided direct eye contact with her.  
  
The commander didn't normally spend time in sleezy taverns but its all he can do to numb the pain. Its been two years, to this day, and the pain hasn't subsided. He didn't want to be alone but he didn't want to be in bed with anyone else. It irritated him when women would flirt with him, flashing their cleavage and strutting around in an attempt to get his attention. It felt wrong. He felt like he was being unfaithful.   
  
The bar maid slid the glass across the counter to him. He listened as the ice cubes clink against the glass and the whiskey sloshed back and forth in front of him. Erwin brought the glass to his lips, sipping gingerly at first. The harsh alcohol burned his throat on the way down, but he remained emotionless. He couldn't help but reminisce over the way they used to shared a drink together after a long day. It made his heart ache. The way her cheeks would tinge pink and her bright green eyes would become glossy. She would always cringe at the very first sip. He often found himself getting lost in her. Everything about her was so fucking perfect and mesmerizing.  
  
"So, you some kind of big shot for the military or something, honey?" The barmaid purred as she reached across the counter and brushed her fingers along the patches of his jacket.   
  
Erwin glanced up over his drink as he brought it to his lips again.   
  
"I'm the Commander of the Survey Corps" he smiled gently, trying to be polite. He really wished that she would just leave him alone.   
  
Her pupils grew wide and she leaned on elbows, resting her cheeks in her hands. "So, I've got your title, but i didn't catch your name"  
  
"Erwin"  
  
He remained stoic as he finished his drink and slid the empty glass back to her.   
  
"Let me get you another, on the house, Commander... Erwin" she smirked playfully, taking the glass off the counter.   
  
It was painfully obvious to the entire tavern that she was flirting with Erwin but he remained indifferent to her advances. She wasn't Victoria, and she never could be.   
  
Erwin spent a good part of his grieving process trying to seek out women who reminded him of Victoria but he couldn't settle for anything less than her. Nothing could fill the empty void in his chest, though he longed for it.   
  
The barmaid returned with another whiskey, this time she handed it to him, gently brushing her fingers against his hand. He ignored it and she obviously wasn't taking the hint.   
  
"You aren't a man of many words are you, sweetheart?" She purred, locking eyes with him.   
  
"Listen, I want to be frank, it's been a long day and I'm not interested" he asserted, eyes narrowing.   
  
"Very well" she said rolling her eyes as she stood up straight and walked away. Today wasn't a good day for flirting. He missed her.   
  
He missed the way her long brown hair tickled his face when she was on top of him, grinding her pelvis into his own. The little curl of her lips when she smiled while locking lips with him was enough to throw him over the edge. Their kisses were filled with so much love and emotion, it was like something he had never felt before. He never wanted this to end.   


* * *

  
  
_Erwin had decided that tonight was the night. Tonight he was going to ask her to marry him. They had spent nearly every day together for the past 3 years. It was time to make her his forever. He waited patiently in his office, she was due back from the expedition any minute now. Erwin decided to rest his eyes for a moment when his office door jerked open, nearly flying off its hinges. There she was, he almost forgot how beautiful she was.. it had only been a week but it felt much longer than that. She ecstaticly ran to him as he stood up and she jumped into his open arms, pressing a big sloppy kiss onto his lips._  
  
_"I missed you so much babe! I'm so happy to be home with you" she smiled, cupping his face with her hand. She gently rubbed her thumb over the stubble on his chin._  
  
_"And I missed you too. " He grinned. "Listen, love, I have something I want to talk to you about"_  
  
_"Of course, Erwin, whats going on?" Her voice laced with concern._  
  
_He pulled away from her and backed up a couple feet before he got down on one need and pulled a tiny satin box from his pocket._  
  
_"Ms. Victoria Schappe, will you marry me?" His voice shook as he lifted the top of the satin box, exposing the white gold, princess cut diamond ring inside._  
  
_"Y—Yes! Erwin, yes!" She sobbed, bending over grabbing him tightly._  
  
_Erwin stood up and pulled her into a tight embrace, eventually stumbling into the bedroom they shared._  
  
_Victoria screamed his name over and over until her voice became hoarse. God, the way his name dripped off her lips drove him crazy. It only made him slam himself into her even harder, the head board bouncing off the wall with each thrust. He could feel her climax approaching quickly as her velvet smooth walls clutched tightly around him. A gush of warm fluid covered his cock as he continued to fuck her through her orgasm, quickly following behind her. He buried himself as deep as he could go before he stilled, shooting hot ropes of cum into her. As he softened, he pulled himself from her and rolled onto his back. They looked into each others eyes as they both struggled to catch their breath._  
  
_"Mrs. Victoria Smith, I like the way that sounds" she giggled, rolling over onto him._  
  
_"I like the way you sound, Mrs. Smith" he growled as he started sucking on her neck, leaving tiny purple bruises in his wake._  
  
_"I love you"_   
  
  
Those things. Those were the things that were supposed to happen that night. He wasn't supposed to cry himself to sleep. She was supposed to be there. Instead, when he opened his resting eyes it was to Levi walking in with her prized possession in his hand. He didn't speak when Erwin stood up and walked to him in silence. He knew it was Victorias opalescent handled knife, he could've spotted it a mile away, the one her father had made for her. But why did he have it? Levi sighed, explaining that this was all that was left of her. He apologized but Erwin couldn't move. Standing there in shock as Levi's head hung down. Just like that... his entire world was taken from him. Why wasn't he there to protect her? Why did this have to happen to her? Why? She was his home, without her, what did he have?  


* * *

  
  
Erwin was snapped out of his trance as the barmaid made her way back around to him. She could tell that something was weighing on his mind. The tavern was closing up for the night and as all the patrons left, he was the only one to remain. Staring aimlessly into his empty glass.   
  
"Hey, we're getting ready to close up, did you want to have a smoke with me before I have you kick you out?" The busty woman questioned.   
  
He doesn't know why, but he agreed. Following her out the back door into the alley. Maybe this was planned. She hadn't even pulled her cigarettes out of her pocket before he was on her, pushing her into the brick wall. His lips roughly crashed into hers. Their tongues were dancing with one another and he didn't even know her name. Running his hands all over her body, making her moan into his mouth. He grabbed her ass gently lifting her a little as she followed his lead, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist. Not wasting any time, one hand supported her against the wall as the other hiked her skirt up, bunching it at her waist. He deftly moved to unzip his pants, pulling his pulsating cock from it's fabric prison. Pushing her panties to the side, he immediately lined himself up with her slick heat and pushed his entire length into her. She gasped at the sudden intrusion, not having much preparation for his girth. Erwin buried his face in the crook of her neck as her nails raked angry red lines down his back. For being as drunk as he was, he was able to keep her steady against the wall.   
  
"F—fuck Commander!" She moaned as she neared her release.   
  
The waves of pleasure began to wash over him as she screamed his name and clutched his shoulders.   
  
"Victoria—" he moaned.   
  
Almost immediately he realized what he had said and he ceased his movements, slipping out of her. Looking into her concerned eyes, he started to fall apart. He set her feet back on the ground and started to back away from her.    
  
"Fuck" he hissed through his teeth as he brought his hands to his face. "Shit—I'm sorry, I have to—I need to go"  
  
The bar maid smoothed out her shirt and adjusted herself but before she could figure out what the fuck happened, he had already slipped away into the darkness of the alley.   


* * *

  
  
That woman wasn't _her._ He had begun to lose himself until he looked into her brown eyes, failing to see any hint of green. He memorized the exact shade that his lover had wore. Erwin was so close to forgetting, just for a moment, that the love of his life was no longer with him. He had gotten so lost in the moment.   
  
Maybe it was better this way, maybe it was better not to have anything to worry about. Maybe he was meant to be alone.   
  
  



End file.
